Walking With Coyote

Masha breathes a sigh of relief when the "nurse" Rena had acquired finally agrees to go take a walk and she has some time to herself. She hurts. Deep inside, her torso seems to throb and burn at a higher temperature as the various stabbing wounds heal from the inside out. She has to move so carefully not to jostle anything and it's a new feeling for Masha. The wound on her shoulder seems trivial in comparison until she tries to actually use it, then she understands the phrase "screaming in pain", as if her own body is launching a lecture at her complete with pop quizzes she hadn't studied for and would absolutely fail.

Fewos sneezes and Masha laughs, then stop abruptly as her stomach objects. "We, it was a horrible comparison, little one." Wheeling the chair over to her safe, she smiles briefly as the young cat plays a game of dodging the tires while she maneuvers in the small space. With a groan of effort, Masha finally reaches the safe combination and manages to extract her journal from within. A dark look of worry crosses her features as the absence of the stranger's govi bottle reminds her of the odd circumstance Sunday afternoon, before all hell broke loose at the rave.

Shaking her head, Masha wheels over towards the wood stove and pulls a throw pillow on her lap, balancing the journal on top. Careful not to jostle her shoulder, she starts to write.

"It started Sunday. I woke, I remember waking. I hopped out of bed and felt spikes cutting my feet which made me stumble and fall. I caught myself on my hands and more spikes, and I jerked my hands up, so surprised I was not even afraid! Then a big pain in my head and things get confusing.

"Mitz found me wandering the city and fixed me up. I must have hit my head pretty hard on the coffee table and gave myself a good old fashioned concussion. Mitz, she is a wonder and a terror and I am fortunate she calls me friend.

"Anyway, I got back home because I had promised I would finally attend one of the raves and I wanted to clean up the mess? But I got in the door and I was just shocked. It was not a water glass or some such that Fewos had knocked over. It was the govi, the one I made by the side of the unknown man who I had thought to be Damien's corpse. My safe, it was still closed and locked. I kept checking. But the govi, it was free and shattered, and now that mait tet is free too early, with no way to lead it below the waters.

"At the rave I told Rena even though I know she is not a religious person because how did it get out of my safe? But I set it aside and just decided to dance, you know, let off some steam, when all these soldiers started pouring on to the rooftops. One of them shot me in the shoulder, and I fell, and I remember trying to crawl to the edge of the roof, then I felt a big pain in my side from a soldier kicking me in the ribs. There was screaming and so much gunfire then they made me get into one of their flying transports. More than anything, I just remember feeling so confused - why me? What could they possibly want with me?

"In the transport, Pera was there too, and we flew a while, then were brought into some sort of facility. Pera was taken away, and then I spent days just waiting. They brought me just a little water and kept the lights bright and if tried to sleep, a guard would wake me.

"I have been through torture and been attacked now, but those days of just waiting, they were hard. It wore me out and I felt crazy, and I was sure that the spirit from the govi was with me, a djab, you know? Mad at me for not getting it home.

"Last night, things changed. A man arrived, tall and beanpole thin with red hair and pale skin. He had a woman with him, who wore a mask but showing vivid green eyes. He called me a creature and a terrorist and said I had no rights. He dragged me out of the cell and told me to get on this metal examination table. I tried to appeal to the woman, but she just would not, like he had a hold on her of some kind, because she seemed sorry and scared but would still not help. I knew if I got on that table things would get bad, so even though I also knew it would not matter, I decided to fight. I let that part of me that is coyote come forward and I attacked that man, clawed his cheek up, but he just took it and the woman stabbed me with some thing that made my muscles fail.

"Then I was strapped to the table.

"The man, I think he did not even really care about the questions he asked. I think he just loves to hurt peoples and this was an excuse. He took his scalpel and he dug it deep into me, three times, twisting and jerking it about. My belly, my side, and again between my poor broken ribs. He traced paper thin cuts between and under my breasts and finally he seemed to grow bored, telling the woman to dump me in the sewers.

"During that time, he wanted to know about some transmitters and who led KAOS, and about a lady named Liliane. I was in such deep pain but I did not know his answers except about Liliane, who I thought was the girl who played her music for me that one night in the playground? It was the only thing I was able to answer, and he told me things, like they'd had me for weeks, that Pera was in the Urals in a work camp and I would go there too, as a breeding project to be raped several times a day, that my cat was mostly likely dead, that we were in New Boston, not Midian, and over and over, that I was a creature who had no rights.

"I was so disoriented, no sense of time, it was like nothing I have experienced. Somewhere in there, another woman came in. She was pregnant and this one seemed to treat the man as a lover does, and her voice indicated that she was enjoying my distress. It came out that the first woman, the one with green eyes? The man had her children captive and that was the hold he had on her. The worst part is, if this is true, he will never let them go and she aids him with such horrors for no reason at all.

"I next remember waking in the MCMC, alone, only I did not know it was there I thought I was still at this lab and I panicked. There was an IV and I ripped it out and I ran and ran, finally losing steam over by the Pool Hall. Of all the people to find me, Nerio was there, as was Edna and a wolf woman who's name I cannot recall. They took me to their underground clinic, the one where I fixed up Nerio, and things were so fuzzy for a while. I just know they fixed me up and I tried to tell them everything I could think of, to make sure Rena was alright, and that Pera was still there.

"After, they said I could not get up yet so they got me to my flat and thank the good god, Fewos was fine. I always leave out big big bowls of water and food and it must have been enough. Rena arranged for this man to stay here with me, she said he is a nurse but he smells like a body guard. Not literally, but you know what I mean, journal. I feel silly over it, but she was right, I could barely move to go to the bathroom and I did not even care that he was a man helping me with such intimate things.

"I will say this: that Nerio, he can be a good guy after all. He certainly adores Rena and he did not have to help me, even if it was just because I am Rena's friend. It seems like I need to do more thinking about what makes a person truly evil, if that is even possible? No, it is. That man Tres (for so Nerio and the rest of them seem to think it was), he is evil. He had no compassion, saw me as a thing, wanted nothing more than to hurt me as deeply as possible for no other reason than he enjoys it.

"Tonight I feel a bit better but I am still very very tired and hurting. I want to get out of my flat though, if I can convince the nurse to let me. I need to figure out what happened with the govi. To try to put the djab to rest."

Masha shakily closes the journal, more exhausted than she cares to admit. Nevertheless, she takes care to restore the journal to the safe and lock it tight before finally relaxing into the chair, seeing spots before her eyes from the effort. She sleeps and barely notices when the bodyguard/nurse returns and scoops her professionally back into bed.