OOC: Midian blues
mood: 
awake
awakeEDIT: Re-reading this, the whole comes as off as rather angsty, self-absorbed and all around rambling, so feel free to move on if you're here. I'm leaving the post because I needed to get it off my chest without whining to people I know in-world and I've already moped about it to my husband so he's off the hook. Else, you've been warned.
So, it's felt for the past few weeks that Midian is finally dying. People on my friendslist who I used to RP with regularly on the SIM are never there that I can see, or if I do spot them, it's brief and they get a "cell phone call" before running off. I don't think that part is personal (or I hope it isn't!), but rather, they'd rather be doing whatever involving RP they have waiting than be on the outside with Masha, when I'm there, hoping for a hook to get let in. It's hard.
Some I've learned have moved on to other SIMs and they've let me know where they're going and shared the love about any nifty finds. Some have just vanished and I can't decide if the hurt I feel is valid or if it's just the nature of the online world. I'm not there as much as I used to be, I refrain from RPing sexual situations, so even if folks like my character or me personally, leaving me out of the loop for good RP opportunities could make sense.
I've been casting about for some sort of catalyst to boost Masha in yet another direction, but everything I toy with sounds either cliche or forced (no pun intended). The truth is, nothing around her at the moment gives me anything to hang a story or plot upon. She's in the ranger, and she got promoted (woot!) but still knows next to nothing and only knows of TWO other people in her faction, not counting the wolves. It's not a good faction for fostering RP, at least not from her end. The MCMC gets her some good medical RP, but each of those are isolated, non-connected incidents where Masha's really an NPC in someone else's scene. Fun, but NOT involving for her own story.
I've started to be more active on a few alts over at some other SIMs myself, because it's getting awfully dull making "Masha's rounds" in Midian and never getting past the surface roleplay you find on the streets. I knew I took a risk when I left the Sarcina and for a while I thought it was worth it, but now, it's been a while since I've really been involved in a sort of juicy plot and the fun is seeping away. When I spend more time driving Masha around hoping for encounters than actually RPing a scene, that starts to pall, especially when my time is limited.
Don't me wrong, I don't think Midian is dead yet. There HAVE been good moments (a recent gun battle was a blast) and some of the folks remain tried and true and dedicated to the SIM. And at least I've managed to have at least ONE good RP, even if it's short, for each time I'm there in the SIM, so I count it still breathing. But I guess, and this feels sappy to say, I'm feeling lonely there now when I used to feel welcomed and it's definitely a much emptier place of late, with so many doing factional RP or RPing together in private land settings or in other SIMs.
So what next? I don't really know. I'm not giving up, not yet. I still have stories to tell with Masha, I hope, and I love Midian and the people I've met or have yet to meet, whether I see them or not. I'm enjoying RPing my alts, but my favorite has been and continues to be Masha for the time being and I don't want to give her up. Quarter Two starts up Monday, so this weekend is really my last gasp for the quarter to get some good RP in Midian.
We'll just have to see.
You might be happy to know I've created an alt. She is a young mouse hobo (Scout Garfunkel...feel free to add her as a friend!). She will most likely not be associated with any faction, and she would love to make friends with you.
When I created Tober, I pictured her mainly surviving on the street, but one thing led to another and somehow I ended up leading the Catwalkers...which totally was not my intention at all. I never thought I would make an alt, because...well, Tober is me, basically. But, Scout is me too, but perhaps a slightly different facet of me.
Anyway, don't give up on Midian just yet. There's still life in the old girl ;-)
*hugs*
I do not think Midian is dying though. Twice last week, I couldn't even get into Midian because it was full.
I just think people move in and out and around and come back. With LT and Naraka opening, 'old timers' seem to be spending time there. I know a few ran off to the humans only crack den scene. There's new blood all over though. Sometimes all over the walls.
That's what I mean about the sort of fractured and disconnectedness of my Second Life lately. I feel like I'm getting left behind while the "cool kids" go find a better playground.
I *know* that's not true and it's a self-focused feeling, but I feel it just the same. I wish people would just openly communicate about other SIMs they find to be good sources of RP instead of just peeling off to simply disappear. The internal sense (and thus the sense of hurt) that I get results from when I find about it indirectly. Then I feel like I shouldn't inquire because they would have mentioned if they'd wanted me to know, or that I'm simply not welcome to come along and play too.
Again, rightly or wrongly - I'm very aware that this perspective is entirely based on my own perception and a whole bunch of assumption based on strictly feelings, and it's compounded by the textual world that is SL, at least for me.
As mopey as this sounds, I'm actually not feeling awful about this as writing about it got it pretty much out of my system. I'm simply resigned to the realities and willing to keep optimistic and open minded about the fun that is still available in SL.
Cheers!
-M
I miss you tons. I just know you are busy and I guess I assume as well, that you are all busy with RP when you are around. *hugs* You are loved and adored by many, not just me.
In seriousness, thank you for the props. I think folks don't realize how out of the loop I am right now, between being outside of the major factions and online less often than before. I think that's why it felt so odd from my end, people are just assuming I know about these other places?
It makes me wonder if we might want to start a thread somewhere about other SIMs or would that be inappropriate in the Midian forums? Thinking on it, yeah, I guess it would be just that.
Hmm...
OMG...I feel that way too!