Walking With Coyote

Well, I finally found interesting work in Midian. I saw flyers asking for applicants to write for the city newspaper, and I thought why not? A few days ago, I was sent a letter of acceptance and a press pass.

I confess, I have no real notion of how to write, this journal not withstanding, and the guidelines have been rather sparse. But we shall see! I like the idea of working again. I have missed it.

Two nights past, I went to the Twilight Zone, hoping to show my new press pass to Deb or Deets or Rena but none of the Sarcina were about, although there were plenty of dancers and drinkers. I chatted a bit with Sol who has taken on the leadership of the Phoenix. I am not sure what I think of that, but it is not very high on my sights, I do not think?

So Mitz bought me a whiskey which I thought was very nice and I wanted more of course, so I went to the bar to order a refill. Ix was there and I said hello to which he responded by shouting at me, wanting to know if I had seen Rena, only he used much courser and denigrating terms. I was stunned. He adores her so and they have always seemed like a solid couple with an amiable agreement about their flings. But he was out of control and I convinced him to come with me to the hills nearby where we could talk without aggravating the patrons.

He made me angry, I admit it. His talk was all about himself, how she dared to fall in love with another man and so on. Bah, she told him, did she not, honest once she knew where her feelings lie? She does not belong to anyone but herself, but Ix, he was being so caveman that I stopped listening and began to lecture.

And then he attacked me. I tried to fight, but he is very strong, and he broke my ribs as I tried to escape. Ix was raving, calling me Rena and I could not reach him with words at all. He chopped at my throat and I thought I would die right there, trying to breathe. I broke one of my powder vials on his face, then managed to burn his hand with my cigar before he hit my jaw with his knee. When I woke, we were high up in one of the ruined buildings in Apocalypse and I was so afraid. He is a vampire, and I knew this, but I had never really SEEN it. The vampires I know behave so normally, like people, and I have never seen this other side until now.

As I said, I woke to feel Ix pulling me towards a fire that was burning in one of those big old oil cans. He held my hand over the fire and it hurt fiercely. I think I passed out again, then I remember trying to get away. He was being gentle, oddly enough, and I thought, perhaps he had come to his senses? But no, and I managed to pull one of my knives and stab his shoulder. The trouble there was that I was pressed against the wall and Ix pushed my head against it. After that, I remember great pain and feeling like my head was sliding into different directions, the most nauseating of feelings that I wish to never feel again.

Then he bit me.

I still cannot fathom this. He bit my neck and actually drank my life's blood. There is something so distasteful about that, yet I cannot put it into words. The good side was there must be some sort of opiate in a vampire's saliva because everything stopped hurting pretty much. I remember sort of sliding back down to the flooring and feeling my own blood on the ground, then things got rather gruesome.

Ix made me a present of a sort. For Rena. He took my knife and made little cuts on my face. I am only grateful I could not really feel that pain. I was told later the details by one of the peoples who found me? He wrote "To Rena" on my forehead, then made little strange dashes under my eyes, and a line drawn down from below my nose, across my lips to my chin. And even more odd, he cut off two of my braids, linked them and tied it around my neck with a bow.

Vampires are very strange.

Finally, in a fit of what I suppose was revenge for my attacking him with the vial, he took another from my belt. I am not sure how to say this so I will just write down what I remember. I remember feeling glass against my teeth and Ix's hand suddenly on my nose and face, the other on my jaw. Then he made me chew the glass. I remember thinking crazily of Ezili Danto and how she gets sometimes when she rides, eating glass, and praying that she would possess me then, but maybe vampire spit made her confused and she could not find the way? I do not know. He made me chew and it was as bad as what Marina did, whatever drug was in his bite was not enough for this. It was worse really because this was my mouth. Then he made me swallow and I think I passed out once again.

Now here is where things get strange. Stranger than psychotically obsessed vampires.

All was black, then I was watching my body, and it was like all those trite little stories you hear about. I could see my poor messed up face, my own blood about and then I saw the gathering peoples, all of them part animal, like me until Markko showed up with some woman. They did not see me but I could see them and I remember feeling love for them, you know? They were there to see me when I went below the waters and when I thought that, I went. I passed by Papa Legba at his gate and I swam deep. I remember the salty water and it did not burn, it was cleansing, and then I was at a clear white beach. My maman, she was there and so were the lwa of my House. I saw Agassou, proud and black furred, yellow eyes and black rosettes, King of Dahomey. Kousin Zaka with his bag and his scythe and Ogou with his machete, Agwe Royo with his beautiful bride, La Sirene. Ezili Freda Dahomey and Ezili Danto, arm and arm as if they were never at odds, strong and so lovely. Oh, it was astounding and I was glad my maman was there - she had given up the Vodou but it seems that did not matter.

I started to go to Maman, but I staggered, feeling like a huge hammer was pounding on my chest. It was awful and I looked at all those beloved faces, wanting to badly to join them. But Old Man Legba, he came up to me and he looked at me from that craggy old face with coyote eyes. He said, "You got to go back, chil', you go swim now." And he pushed me with his stick. It was like I was a leaf and I just blew like tissue on the wind, back into the ocean and that weight on my chest was so bad I did not even care.

Then poof, all that pressure it was gone and I took the deepest breath of my whole life, I was sitting up and I hurt everywhere, especially my throat but that breath, is was better than whiskey or tobacco or anything else. I saw all these faces only this time for real and I knew none of them except Markko. These strangers, they were all smiling at me like I'd done something good and then the doctor neko, he made me lie down and started working.

Things are vague after that, but I know they got me to doctor Nik's clinic and there was some sort of argument and then I woke up. Fu was there, that strange vampire woman who reminded me about the soul that time, who saved Blood when he was dying with rituals I cannot begin to imagine, and the neko doctor, he was there, looking like someone had struck him with lightening or he had seen the face of god. I felt fine, all healed, shaky and tired, but none of the cuts where there. Fu must have used nanites or some such and I suppose the doctor, he had never seen such things, but Deb, she has those little miracles in her blood and I am used to them now.

Fu, she insisted on walking with me to the elevator and I was worried for Rena because, well, because not only was she in danger from Ixion but I just knew she would blame herself for his own bad behavior. She is like that, never passing up a reason to hate herself and there is nothing I can do about it.

When I woke up last night, there was a text waiting from Indi and I missed her so much I practically flew to the park to meet her. She looks very well, strong and more alert and happy than she has in a while. I filled her in then called Rena because I was hoping to reach her before she heard what had happened. But of course, Midian is a small town and she had already been told by Markko. Indi had to go so I got Rena to meet me on the docks and we talked quite a bit.

She blames herself, just as I knew she would, and as I also knew, my words make no different about it. She says that Ixion will be put on trial by his peoples, the Breed and started to tell me some interesting things about how they work, but we got distracted by some woman coming by. I wonder if I will have to testify?

Then we talked a bit about Nerio finally. I wanted to get it out in the open. She loves him, so she says, and she says she will do anything to protect him. I decided to table my own justice for now - I am just not angry about it any longer - but if he harms or is responsible for harming anyone I care for, I told her, then I will do what I must. We have an understanding of sorts and I pray it never comes to pass. Who knows? Things change so rapidly on this island.

I sent a note to Luke of the Pack. He had hinted to me that I would be welcome among them, and after feeling their warmth, I want to see if this is a place for me know. Perhaps it is time to embrace this part of that is now coyote, to see what it brings?